That was the first time he was certain he could taste knowledge. Of course they didn’t believe him at first, but then he started eating their knowledge. When he found a strand of his mother’s kinky afro he plopped it into his mouth without thinking. He found her fear and told her about it.…

To this day, my life has been a series of comedically bad timing, near-death experiences, and wet socks. I can’t hold an egg without dropping it, and at least once a day, a bird defecates on my head.…